Isolation and/or Abandonment

Every child wants to be with his mother. This year, more than any other, my classroom has a number of children that are isolated from their biological mothers. All of these children have other family members that have stepped in and assumed the responsibility of providing care and a supportive environment to nurture their growth and development. Two of the girls have been adopted by their current family.

In the classroom there are a number of ways these feelings of isolation and/or abandonment are exhibited. One little girl, who was taken from her mother and placed with her grandmother, is very reserved and at times withdrawn. I must be sure to always speak directly to her by name to draw her in to our activities and make frequent eye contact. Another child constantly calls out my name for attention. In the mornings he is always right by my side during circle, we hold hands for 20 minutes during that time.  Another girl is very emotional and sensitive. She will frequently cry and I have to help her work through those emotions.

Understanding child development and the critical social emotional growth my Kindergarteners are experiencing helps me to be patient with them. It also makes me wonder about children in other parts of the world that are experiencing the isolation because of their mother dying of Aids.  The website Kenya-Advisor.com estimates that “everyday 700 people die of AIDS in Kenya and there are an estimated 1 million child orphans due to AIDS in the country alone. In other cases, mothers have abandoned the baby somewhere because of extreme poverty or being single.”

Orphans in Kenya are being cared for by institutions and family members or neighbors that can take them in. The Berger (2009) text explained that children raised in institutions during the early childhood years can have a lower IQ than their counterparts.

Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

Child Development and Public Health

Breastfeeding is an important first step to nourish and help the baby thrive. There are many research supported benefits to breastfeeding and why it is best.

• Breast fed babies have higher IQs
• Breast fed babies develop less childhood illnesses and they are less likely to have allergies, asthma and diabetes
• Mothers who breastfeed are less likely to develop certain forms of cancer
• Breastfeeding promotes bonding between the mother and baby
• Breast milk is made for the baby so it changes to meet his needs, less colic, constipation, and diarrhea
• Breastfeeding moms burn more calories, lose weight

Currently my state, Michigan, has a big ad campaign promoting the reasons why mothers should breastfeed. Please click the link below to view the "Power Moms Video."
State of Michigan Breastfeeding Ad

I breastfeed both of my children. I nursed my son until he was just over 2 years old. I weaned my daughter just before her 2nd birthday. I loved seeing my children grow and knowing that I was giving them that nourishment.

I think all mothers should try it. I know that breastfeeding might not be for everyone although every mother should at least try it. I have encouraged everyone I know to attempt to breastfeed. It is even benefit within the first 24 hours so the baby can get the colostrum before the "real" milk comes in.

In other countries breastfeeding is the expected way to feed your baby for the first 6 months. It is perfectly normal to see mothers feeding their babies publicly too. In the U.S. it is a shame that public breastfeeding is so taboo. We still hear news stories of women being asked to leave public places or to "cover up" in order to feed their babies. Once when I was at a family birthday party at a pizza place someone asked me to "do that in the bathroom." I replied, "Would you take your pizza and eat it in the bathroom?"  People should not associate the breast with sexuality when it is there for nourishment to the baby.

Childbirth Experiences

The birthing experience is personal, joyous, and a blessing. I love witnessing childbirth; I have attended six live births and I have given birth three times.  My last childbirth experience was eleven years ago with the birth of my daughter. It was very impressionable because although I had delivered my son four years earlier I was not mentally prepared for the pain I endured. My feelings were so hurt that the pain was much worse than I remember. I was induced and the labor progressed very quickly. I basically went from not being dilated to 10 within four hours. I wanted a natural birth but I didn’t think it would be possible because I was in so much discomfort.  I constantly asked my doctor to check my progress so it would be over; I recall he told me it wasn’t up to him that my body determined that. I looked at the clock saw it was 11:40 am and told him to come back at noon that I would be ready then.  Needlessly to say my doctor did not listen to my prediction and my mother had to grab a doctor from the hallway because she saw my daughter’s head coming. I delivered exactly at twelve o’clock. My doctor was right- it was up to my mind and body.  

That experience has made me realize two things: 1. a woman can greatly influence her childbirth experience, and 2. Epidurals can be a wonderful thing. I have seen the difference in labor with an epidural and without. It seems inhumane to suffer through labor without medicine to ease the pain.

In Ghana, W. Africa many women choose the former because of superstitions. Most births are at home or at local clinics. The women of the family are very involved in the birthing process; the mother giving birth does not have much control in the childbirth process. It is very important that only the family is around and that the mother (or anyone close to her) has not harmed or offended anyone so nothing bad will happen. The actual delivery could be in the tub, on the bed, floor, or squatting. In contrast, all my births were conventional in a hospital bed with medicine to progress my labor. One similarity between my childbirth experience and the Ghanaian childbirth is that afterwards my children were not named until the naming ceremony two weeks later. Until then the baby was only exposed to my parents and close relatives like Ghanaian tradition.  

I believe that birthing experiences can be a positive interaction that excites the family to help the baby develop into a happy and healthy person.